Author Topic: My sons childcare dilemma (Read 235 times)

Blonde720 · « **on:** September 06, 2019, 10:12:22 pm »

Alright moms, tell me if I’m wrong or if the daycares wrong in this situation. I’ve had a problem with my sons daycare for about 3 months. Carter pulls the other children’s hair when he’s upset. He has a speech delay (I have him in speech therapy) I feel this is how he expresses himself since he doesn’t talk much. I told his daycare I put him in time out when he pulls his cousins hair. This has been working for me. He rarely pulls his cousins hair and if he does he goes straight into time out. Well at daycare he’s been pulling hair “nonstop” they told me he randomly pulls the other kids hair for no reason. They have ONE teacher for 10-15 kids ratio. I said maybe the kids are acting out because they aren’t getting the attention they need. I was told that I was wrong, that Carter just randomly pulls hair for no reason. The other kids push each other, and run around like chickens with their head cut off. I witnessed twice now that some little boy pushed my son. I said today “those other little kids show aggression, maybe my son learned it from them“ carters daycare said “no those other kids learned it from him” lmao. That’s a bunch of BS! Toddlers express themselves by pushing, hitting, biting or pulling hair. I told them”well my approach at him is working just fine, he doesn’t “randomly” pull hair, there’s always a cause, but anyways maybe you guys need to change your approach with discipline since your approach isn’t working” they changed the subject and redirected Carters issue with pulling hair on me. They said “You need to work with him at home” I’ve told them over and over how Carter doesn’t do that with me. I’ve taken him to many social events with other kids and Carter doesn’t act this way. Do you guys think it’s the teachers fault for Carter misbehaving at daycare only? Or is it my fault?

Akmom25 · « **Reply #1 on:** September 07, 2019, 12:55:41 pm »

Why does it have to be a “fault” thing? Why can’t it simply be something that you need to correct?

To answer your question - you are wrong

This is not about a speech delay, this is about negative, unruly, behavior that needs to be corrected.

Brainysmurf · « **Reply #2 on:** September 08, 2019, 02:19:34 pm »

He may need a more structured program with a smaller child to adult ratio. It may just be what's best for him and no one's fault at all.

Blonde720 · « **Reply #3 on:** September 11, 2019, 10:11:05 am »

Quote from: Akmom25 on September 07, 2019, 12:55:41 pm

Why does it have to be a “fault” thing? Why can’t it simply be something that you need to correct?

To answer your question - you are wrong

This is not about a speech delay, this is about negative, unruly, behavior that needs to be corrected.

I agree with you. I want his behaviors to be corrected. It just seems impossible because I’m not there at daycare and I can’t correct it. At home, my son doesn’t act this way. So I’m in a stump and I don’t know how to address it. I’m thinking maybe since they give him attention every time he acts out, he continues to do it. And it’s just getting worse and worse at daycare.. I’m starting to think they are addressing the situation wrong, they need to show the other kid attention who got hurt. They need to praise my son when he’s being good and give attention then, so he knows with good behavior he will get attention, not bad behaviors.

Blonde720 · « **Reply #4 on:** September 11, 2019, 10:12:19 am »

Quote from: Brainysmurf on September 08, 2019, 02:19:34 pm

He may need a more structured program with a smaller child to adult ratio. It may just be what's best for him and no one's fault at all.

I’ve been thinking that myself.. maybe a change in daycare would be good for him.

Akmom25 · « **Reply #5 on:** September 11, 2019, 07:05:26 pm »

Quote from: Blonde720 on September 11, 2019, 10:11:05 am

Quote from: Akmom25 on September 07, 2019, 12:55:41 pm
Why does it have to be a “fault” thing? Why can’t it simply be something that you need to correct?

To answer your question - you are wrong

This is not about a speech delay, this is about negative, unruly, behavior that needs to be corrected.

I agree with you. I want his behaviors to be corrected. It just seems impossible because I’m not there at daycare and I can’t correct it. At home, my son doesn’t act this way. So I’m in a stump and I don’t know how to address it. I’m thinking maybe since they give him attention every time he acts out, he continues to do it. And it’s just getting worse and worse at daycare.. I’m starting to think they are addressing the situation wrong, they need to show the other kid attention who got hurt. They need to praise my son when he’s being good and give attention then, so he knows with good behavior he will get attention, not bad behaviors.

Interesting because you were extremely rude to me on your other post concerning the same subject, hun.

Did you realize that I said you were wrong. This is not a daycare issue. It is unrealistic to expect the daycare to run the program tailored to one child.

The child’d Behavior is a cue that there is another challenge the child is dealing with. I am sure that speech therapist who knows better than anyone else explained in detail that speech, hearing, and the ability to mimic behavior are all closely related, especially at this age.

Walk around a crowded room with ear plugs, or try to concentrate with an annoying buzzing constant background sound for hours every single day. Let us know how frustrated and angry you become. It doesn’t matter if you believe the child had perfect hearing, he should be evaluated for sensory and sensitivity issues because so many go hand in hand with speech challenges.

If he responds to you at home then he is responding to punishment which is not discipline or the environment is calm allowing him to be calm. I would bet it’s a combination of environment and comfort level. One of my children wigged our every single time we were in certain stores and not others. Thankfully I have the education and experience to realize that something else was going on. The lighting in certain stores would “buzz”. She could hear it to the point it was louder than any other sounds and it frustrated and frightened her.
Children respond much the same to frustration and fear.

I am not a speech therapist but I do know a free things about Children’s Behavioral Psychology.

Please have the child evaluated and please remember that sometimes especially in young children behavior is a cue not the problem

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Author Topic: My sons childcare dilemma (Read 235 times)

Blonde720

My sons childcare dilemma

Akmom25

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Blonde720

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Blonde720

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Akmom25

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