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Author Topic: Where's Cafemom when you need it?  (Read 21556 times)

Ocuw9i

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Where's Cafemom when you need it?
« on: September 23, 2019, 09:03:39 pm »
I've had an awful couple days and really wish I had the old site to use as a sounding board. This is the basic gist of it: DD chose a high school to go to based on the fact she could graduate with her Associate's degree. The school is small and doesn't offer AP classes.

She never agreed to take less regular high school classes on top of taking dual/concurrent enrollment units each semester through the local community college district because she liked her high school classes, and enjoyed the teachers/students there. She's a junior now and is about 40% done with an Associate to Transfer (AS-T) in Computer Science, but the kind of classes she has left are really advanced math and physics classes. She's on her third programming class, and is finding this one harder than the rest. But, she's taken so many classes through both high school and the community college that she will only need two classes to graduate next year.

She wants to take the basic English course through the community college for Spring 2020, and not take any other community college courses. Then for senior year she wants to only have one class she needs to graduate, keep the rest of her school day open for free periods, and not take any more community college classes. She doesn't want to do extracurriculars. She doesn't want to work, unless she can find a friend who will do something fun, like work at a clothing store they like and would get an employee discount at.

She says school doesn't make her happy. Clubs and sports don't make her happy. computer Science doesn't make her happy, and she thinks she wants to switch to an easier major like Anthropology. Hanging out with her friends makes her happy, and she thinks it's important for her mental health that we let her go out.

DH thinks this is all happening because she has a boyfriend now. Her boyfriend is a senior and has a full load of classes. He needs to pass every single class to graduate, and he already had a detention for skipping fifteen classes this year. His friends have become her friends, and although they're all seniors she's not worried about being alone next year because she thinks a lot of them aren't going to be able to graduate this year.

She really does have a lot of schoolwork, though. The way her school is set up, she's taking five core courses for seven months of the school year, and then two months of the school year is spent taking two electives. On top of that she's taking 11 units through community college. So, it feels real to me that she says she's stressed and overwhelmed.

DH says she's not stressed and overwhelmed, and instead is just being influenced by these new friends. He also makes a good point that her community college classes are tuition free as long as she's still in high school. And, I know this isn't her problem, but he is staying here in the Bay Area where our rent is $4k a month because he thought the school was an incredible opportunity, so he doesn't see the point to staying here if she doesn't keep going full throttle.

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alexsmommy51405

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Re: Where's Cafemom when you need it?
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2019, 08:46:25 am »
Copy and paste this to momconfessions.net

Theres a lot of people there

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


Ocuw9i

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Re: Where's Cafemom when you need it?
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2019, 10:45:21 am »
I tried to register. What do I type in the section that says "Who is this site for?  This question is a means of preventing automated form submissions by spambots." Anything I type results in getting the message "You have provided an invalid answer to the question."
Copy and paste this to momconfessions.net

Theres a lot of people there

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

alexsmommy51405

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Re: Where's Cafemom when you need it?
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2019, 11:01:45 am »
I tried to register. What do I type in the section that says "Who is this site for?  This question is a means of preventing automated form submissions by spambots." Anything I type results in getting the message "You have provided an invalid answer to the question."
Copy and paste this to momconfessions.net

Theres a lot of people there

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
Lol try "moms".
I just tried and it worked for me

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


Ocuw9i

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Re: Where's Cafemom when you need it?
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2019, 11:53:11 am »
Oof! Here I was typing "Cafemom," "Momconfessions," my username, my e-mail address.
[/quote]Lol try "moms".
I just tried and it worked for me

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
[/quote]
I tried to register. What do I type in the section that says "Who is this site for?  This question is a means of preventing automated form submissions by spambots." Anything I type results in getting the message "You have provided an invalid answer to the question."
Copy and paste this to momconfessions.net

Theres a lot of people there

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

saphira1207

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Re: Where's Cafemom when you need it?
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2020, 10:27:32 pm »
She sounds burnt out on academic stuff.  She also sounds like she wants a more normal teenhood.And she sounds like she's starting to hang around with a questionable group.  Considering her age, I'd talk to her and come to some compromises about school and her choice of friends.  Try not to sound accusatory when you say the people she's hanging around are iffy if they're not going to graduate on time.  I deal with that kind of thing in my job every day, so I can say with some certainty that if they're not graduating on time there's a problem somewhere.  It may be anxiety, bullying, a learning disability that hasn't been dealt with.  It may also be due to less reasonable causes, like drugs or abuse.  Make sure she knows you understand her position, but also tell her that certain types of people can inadvertently pull her down the wrong road. (make it sound like it would be unintentional on the friends part, that way she'll get less upset.)


I've had an awful couple days and really wish I had the old site to use as a sounding board. This is the basic gist of it: DD chose a high school to go to based on the fact she could graduate with her Associate's degree. The school is small and doesn't offer AP classes.

She never agreed to take less regular high school classes on top of taking dual/concurrent enrollment units each semester through the local community college district because she liked her high school classes, and enjoyed the teachers/students there. She's a junior now and is about 40% done with an Associate to Transfer (AS-T) in Computer Science, but the kind of classes she has left are really advanced math and physics classes. She's on her third programming class, and is finding this one harder than the rest. But, she's taken so many classes through both high school and the community college that she will only need two classes to graduate next year.

She wants to take the basic English course through the community college for Spring 2020, and not take any other community college courses. Then for senior year she wants to only have one class she needs to graduate, keep the rest of her school day open for free periods, and not take any more community college classes. She doesn't want to do extracurriculars. She doesn't want to work, unless she can find a friend who will do something fun, like work at a clothing store they like and would get an employee discount at.

She says school doesn't make her happy. Clubs and sports don't make her happy. computer Science doesn't make her happy, and she thinks she wants to switch to an easier major like Anthropology. Hanging out with her friends makes her happy, and she thinks it's important for her mental health that we let her go out.

DH thinks this is all happening because she has a boyfriend now. Her boyfriend is a senior and has a full load of classes. He needs to pass every single class to graduate, and he already had a detention for skipping fifteen classes this year. His friends have become her friends, and although they're all seniors she's not worried about being alone next year because she thinks a lot of them aren't going to be able to graduate this year.

She really does have a lot of schoolwork, though. The way her school is set up, she's taking five core courses for seven months of the school year, and then two months of the school year is spent taking two electives. On top of that she's taking 11 units through community college. So, it feels real to me that she says she's stressed and overwhelmed.

DH says she's not stressed and overwhelmed, and instead is just being influenced by these new friends. He also makes a good point that her community college classes are tuition free as long as she's still in high school. And, I know this isn't her problem, but he is staying here in the Bay Area where our rent is $4k a month because he thought the school was an incredible opportunity, so he doesn't see the point to staying here if she doesn't keep going full throttle.

 

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