Alright moms, tell me if I’m wrong or if the daycares wrong in this situation. I’ve had a problem with my sons daycare for about 3 months. Carter pulls the other children’s hair when he’s upset. He has a speech delay (I have him in speech therapy) I feel this is how he expresses himself since he doesn’t talk much. I told his daycare I put him in time out when he pulls his cousins hair. This has been working for me. He rarely pulls his cousins hair and if he does he goes straight into time out. Well at daycare he’s been pulling hair “nonstop” they told me he randomly pulls the other kids hair for no reason. They have ONE teacher for 10-15 kids ratio. I said maybe the kids are acting out because they aren’t getting the attention they need. I was told that I was wrong, that Carter just randomly pulls hair for no reason. The other kids push each other, and run around like chickens with their head cut off. I witnessed twice now that some little boy pushed my son. I said today “those other little kids show aggression, maybe my son learned it from them“ carters daycare said “no those other kids learned it from him” lmao. That’s a bunch of BS! Toddlers express themselves by pushing, hitting, biting or pulling hair. I told them”well my approach at him is working just fine, he doesn’t “randomly” pull hair, there’s always a cause, but anyways maybe you guys need to change your approach with discipline since your approach isn’t working” they changed the subject and redirected Carters issue with pulling hair on me. They said “You need to work with him at home” I’ve told them over and over how Carter doesn’t do that with me. I’ve taken him to many social events with other kids and Carter doesn’t act this way. Do you guys think it’s the teachers fault for Carter misbehaving at daycare only? Or is it my fault

I agree with the daycare. There is no way he can get the constant redirection he gets with you at the daycare. They are managing other children. I think you might want to adjust your approach. As your child gets older and goes through school they will not be able to recreate a setting like home. How children act with their families and how they act with other adults can be very different especially if they face issues like frustration from delays.

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So you’re saying adjust my approach that is working more efficiently than the daycares approach?

Quote from: PiscesFishy on September 06, 2019, 10:38:10 pm

I agree with the daycare. There is no way he can get the constant redirection he gets with you at the daycare. They are managing other children. I think you might want to adjust your approach. As your child gets older and goes through school they will not be able to recreate a setting like home. How children act with their families and how they act with other adults can be very different especially if they face issues like frustration from delays.

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I agree that teachers can’t create a setting like home, but teachers teach them discipline! I was suspended in school, I was sent to detention from behavior related issues. Teachers are there to correct behavior. I don’t pay my sons childcare $335 a week for nothing

Daycare providers are there to take care of your children in a semi educational enviormemt because I assume you are at work or at school. Unless you are enrolled in a special preschool. I wont assume to know the specifics of your provider. Discipline starts at home at its unfair for you to expect someone to constantly be putting your child in timeout if they are disrupting the environment. What will you do when the prek or kinder teacher tells you that your kid is disruptive?

And clearly your approach isn't working if your child is acting out as much as they say.


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First if you truly believe that the daycare is horrible, why is your child there?

I don’t think that I would take the opinion of someone who is either being paid by me or being paid on my behalf as an unbiased expert opinion.

The day care is correct. The behavior needs to be addressed and corrected first in the home, constantly, repeatedly, without fail. You do not pay a daycare to discipline your child, you pay a daycare to provide a safe, nurturing environment.  If you can not get your child’s behavior under control, they will (and should) remove your child from daycare.

You are not doing your child any favors by pretending that he is right and the work is wrong

Quote from: Akmom25 on September 07, 2019, 12:37:54 pm

First if you truly believe that the daycare is horrible, why is your child there?

I don’t think that I would take the opinion of someone who is either being paid by me or being paid on my behalf as an unbiased expert opinion.

The day care is correct. The behavior needs to be addressed and corrected first in the home, constantly, repeatedly, without fail. You do not pay a daycare to discipline your child, you pay a daycare to provide a safe, nurturing environment.  If you can not get your child’s behavior under control, they will (and should) remove your child from daycare.

You are not doing your child any favors by pretending that he is right and the work is wrong

No ****, if I wanted to pay someone to discipline my child I’d have him in baby military lmao. All I’m saying is that my son doesn’t act out at home. He acts out at daycare so what could this possibly be? Maybe him missing me so he throws tantrums? Idk? Today he got frustrated at me, he went to pull my hair but instead stopped himself and patted my head. THIS IS WHAT IM SAYING ABOUT MY SON KNOWING AND LEARNING WHAT HE CAN AND CANNOT DO WITH MAMA AROUND! When I’m not around, apparently his daycare lets him drive up a muck. This is the only thing I can think of because my son obeys me and he knows I don’t **** around. They daycare on the other hand, lets him get away with everything and anything. This is why he acts out ONLY at daycare hun. If my so. Was out of control at home and daycare then YEAH, but that’s not the case.

I already know what kind of mom you're going to be when your kid goes to school.

It seems like you really didn't want to know what people thought and were just searching for an echo chamber.

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Quote from: PiscesFishy on September 08, 2019, 02:31:43 pm

Quote from: Blonde720 on September 08, 2019, 01:49:43 am

Quote from: Akmom25 on September 07, 2019, 12:37:54 pm

First if you truly believe that the daycare is horrible, why is your child there?

I don’t think that I would take the opinion of someone who is either being paid by me or being paid on my behalf as an unbiased expert opinion.

The day care is correct. The behavior needs to be addressed and corrected first in the home, constantly, repeatedly, without fail. You do not pay a daycare to discipline your child, you pay a daycare to provide a safe, nurturing environment.  If you can not get your child’s behavior under control, they will (and should) remove your child from daycare.

You are not doing your child any favors by pretending that he is right and the work is wrong

No ****, if I wanted to pay someone to discipline my child I’d have him in baby military lmao. All I’m saying is that my son doesn’t act out at home. He acts out at daycare so what could this possibly be? Maybe him missing me so he throws tantrums? Idk? Today he got frustrated at me, he went to pull my hair but instead stopped himself and patted my head. THIS IS WHAT IM SAYING ABOUT MY SON KNOWING AND LEARNING WHAT HE CAN AND CANNOT DO WITH MAMA AROUND! When I’m not around, apparently his daycare lets him drive up a muck. This is the only thing I can think of because my son obeys me and he knows I don’t **** around. They daycare on the other hand, lets him get away with everything and anything. This is why he acts out ONLY at daycare hun. If my so. Was out of control at home and daycare then YEAH, but that’s not the case.

I already know what kind of mom you're going to be when your kid goes to school.

It seems like you really didn't want to know what people thought and were just searching for an echo chamber.

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Well don’t assume things hunny, because you don’t know me at all. Therefore, you can’t predict what kind of mother I’ll be when my kid is in school. Now scoot along and give someone else a hard time since you’re miserable with your own life

Clearly I hit a nerve.

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I know that you really do believe the day care is the problem and while I agree they could do a little more, there is only so much they can do.

I also don’t think you realize how much of what you said in the OP was an excuse, which is how the day care is also going to see it.

I get it, my oldest didn’t talk till he was 5 and biting was his communication. I’d have never put him in a daycare setting because there is no way a school could give him the more personal attention he needed.

Sounds like you need to re-evaluate the situation.


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